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Performance Review: Survivor

Clock in, fight for 30 years, retire maybe? In this office-themed 2.5D roguelite, fight with office supplies against waves of coworkers and the horrors of capitalism. May your job search be short and 401K plentiful.

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Developer
LanternWard Games
Publisher
LanternWard Games
Release
Coming Soon
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Search Google: Who developed Performance Review: Survivor?Developer scaleThe operating scale of the game's developer.
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About the Game

NOW HIRING: Senior Entry-Level Productivity Survival Analyst II

Shareholder First Company Solutions is seeking a highly motivated self-starter to join our award-winning workplace family. The ideal candidate thrives under pressure, understands that “work-life balance” is a competitor’s myth, and remains committed to company goals despite rapidly escalating cross-functional incidents.

This is a fast-paced opportunity with unlimited growth potential, provided you survive the probationary period.

Responsibilities include:

  • Maintaining control of your cubicle during high-energy team-building events

  • Upgrading company-approved productivity tools, including staplers, laptops, printers, and other standard office equipment

  • Surviving quarterly performance initiatives, surprise compliance events, and the Annual Performance Review

  • Ability to lift 50 lbs

Preferred qualifications:

  • Strong time management during short, chaotic runs

  • Ability to adapt to compounding weapon upgrades

  • Comfortable operating in bullet-hell work environments

  • Willingness to give 110% until there is nothing left to give

Compensation & Benefits:

  • After-life 401K financial planning

  • Performance-based escalation

  • Plentiful team-building opportunities

  • The slow erosion of self

  • Dental

Performance Review: Survivor is a 2.5D roguelite where office problems follow you home, careers run short, and the Annual Performance Review is non-negotiable.  In the unlikely outcome you manage to retire, comprehensive end-of-life financial 401K projection simulation is provided.

Applications accepted via fax only. Orientation starts immediately upon submission.

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